The galloping horse....

Sitting on my desk at work, trying my best to concentrate on my project, but all in vain. Why?  Partly because am gazing outside the huge window, looking at the sky filled with enormous clouds…trying to gaze hard to make impressions of figurines out of clouds…a desperate galloping horse racing its way towards the almost setting sun…And by the time I look back again at the sky, the galloping horse is gone.. Did it reach where it wanted to desperately or did it just give up in desperation?

Desperation and determination….trying to figure out where do scales of my thought dip towards; am I desperate or am I determined? You typically start out as determined to achieve and win however when posed with uncalled as well as expected obstacles, the determination begins to shake to give way to hints of desperation. Before you can even fathom, you are bowled over with desperation into wanting to win somehow no matter what it takes..  They say, there comes a point in life when you realize that you have done way too much for a person and the next possible step is to just stop doing it and leave them alone, walk away. And it’s not that you are giving up or you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have learnt to draw a line of determination from desperation…

I feel like the galloping horse desperately racing towards the sun, no matter what it takes to get there as that seems to be the dire necessity! No matter how much heat, no matter the burning ground beneath the legs, no matter if it’s a dessert where mirages constantly trick your thoughts…just no matter what there is no stopping….but at some point when the legs start giving up with excruciating pain and it slows you down..desperation takes over wildly...

Search continues.....

Strange are the facts and ways of life…..you know and understand something for a fact but there are things which completely defy the fact and this is what leaves you gutted, helpless, confused, frustrated...

You know its viable to choose someone who loves you more that you do, yet you will choose the person whom you love madly; we always run behind the person, whose attention we crave for…and never bother to look at the person who gives us all the attention; you give up everything for a person you love to see a smile on their faces and invariably that person will never realize your sacrifices; you warn your loved one about a hazard, they will never understand until the same is said by someone else who don’t matter much in life; people who lose out on true love and companionship understand what they have lost and people who win it all end up with messing it up and never understand what they have and the list continues.. why is life so complicated sometimes? Although there are answers and know them, yet there are times you find yourself so helpless. Your mind says ‘this cant happen’ but yet you wish with all your heart ‘I really want this to happen, I wish it happens’ and you pray with all your energies for it to come true…why? You love someone, you know that the person doesn’t care as much, yet you go that extra mile to do everything for the person, yet to yearn for that one look in that person’s eye which says it all…basically you know that the person wouldn’t fall in love with you really, but you still pray with every hope alive that someday the person just might turn around for you….!

Sometimes you know that you have all the answers, yet you are still searching for answers…why? Does this search ever end, is this common for everyone? The search continues…..

Aankho ki neend..

Aaj aankho se neend udi hai, sochti hu...jaane kaunsi kami hai..karvat badal-badal aadhi raat beet gayi, ab-bhi samajh nahi paayi, ki aakhir baat kyaa hai....Ek ajeeb si utsukta mann mein chhayi hai, Pal- pal na jaane kyu waqt ki or nazre tik jaati hai, maano kisi pal ka intezaar hai mujhe...na jaane aaj ki raat kyu hai itni alag....

Tu....

Tujhe dekh nigaahe thakti nahi, tere deedar karte palak jhapakte nahi, tujhe mein aisi kya kashish hai..mann bharta hi nahi, teri aankhen kitna kuch keh jaati hai, aisa lagta hai hamesha tujhe dekhti rahu...bina ek pal khoye, tere har ek adaa ko apni aankho mein kaid karlu, teri hasi, tera ehsaas, teri khushboo, tere aane ki aahat..sab apne dil ki dhadkan mein basu lu...bas tujh mein kho jauu..jannat mein shaamil ho jau..!

Duniya ki reet...

Chalte chalte tham jaate hai, kehte kehte ruk jaate hai, sochte sochte kho jaate hai,
Yahi sochkar ki kahi jis manzil ki taraf kadam badhaaye hai, kya kabhi wo manzil hame naseeb hogi..kya wo khwaab rang layenge, kya wo khayalo ko din ka ujaala naseeb hoga, kya har baar kuchh paane ke liye hume apne dil se, halaato se hazaaro minnate karni padengi? Jo lagta hai mushkil, wo aasani se haasil ho jaata hai aur jo aasan ho, uske liye hazaar duaa bhi kam padte hai..kya yahi duniya ki reet hai??

Tu Kaha...

Aati jaati leheron mein dhundhu tera pataa, kaha kab kya jaane mil jaaye tera nishaan;
Tere ehsaas ko mehsoos kiye din beet gaye, jaise aasman se taare ruth gaye;
Shayad ye din sadiyo mein badal jaaye, fir bhi aate jaate leheron mein dhudhenge tera pataa..
kaha kab kya jaane mil jaaye tu aur tera nishaan...!

Amidst Nature...

My much awaited break, after IMPACT Day- trip to matheran; turned out to be one of the finest encounters I have had with nature.

What a wonderful place ya….we had to walk a lot but didn’t mind doing it a bit…after all it’s a rare opportunity to be amidst nature. At the end of our drive from Mumbai, we came to a point where all cabs and taxis had to be parked, they couldn’t be taken beyond this point, called Dasturi. From there, we had options of either taking a horse, hand pulled rickshaws to matheran- however, these were super expensive, so we decided to walk. Our hotel was the farthest- being located the last in the mini jungle. It took us an hour and half to get there. The walk to the hotel took us by the toy train trail (which was sadly shut due to monsoons), path with lush green flora and fauna laden with mist of clouds. Our hotel was called’ Verandah in the Forest’ – which literally looked like one. It probably must have been a private bungalow earlier, before being converted into a hotel. It had 8- 9 rooms and all had interesting Indian names. Our room was located at the rear end and the best part was that the jungle was just outside the main door of our room. The room had a thick British flavor to it; nevertheless it was cozy and comfortable. The tin roof of the room, with monkeys jumping on it constantly added the ‘jungle feel’ all the more!!

Since the food served in the hotel was super duper expensive, we decided to have all our meals in the main market. Since our hotel was the farthest, every time we had to walk 2-3 kms to get to the market place. So the 2 days we stayed there, we used to get ready, go to the market place in the morning, have breakfast, walk around and spend time looking at various view points (Echo point, monkey point, Louisa point etc among dozen of others) until afternoon, then have lunch at the same place, relax for some time, pack dinner and finally leave for the hotel. Moreover, since the network reception was nil in the hotel, we had to make our calls while we were in the market place- this was fun somewhat, being cut off from the entire world for some time.

Just the day before we left, Matheran experienced extremely heavy rains. It started pouring from 3.00 pm in the afternoon and continued throughout the night with thunderstorms. At some point during late evening, with all the wind and the heavy thunders and deluge of raindrops on our tin roof, it was slightly scary- wondering what would happen if we were to be stranded in that place coz of weather conditions. Anyways, the rain stopped next morning but thanks to the monkeys all around our room, it took us nearly 15 mins to get them away so that we could leave our room.

So, that was my lil description of the Matheran trip.. Worth a visit only during monsoons!!!